when did you first feel like a dad?
oh man… there have been so many different experiences. it just increases with time. the older she gets the more i feel like a dad. when she was little, she didn’t need me as much as she needed kristina. but i still remember holding her for the first time and feeling an immediate sense of protection for her like i’ve never experienced before. the other day i had a moment when i was loading up poles into our SUV to take her fishing and i looked at kris and said, “i feel like such a dad right now.” ha.
what was one misconception about having a child that was proved wrong?
i think i expected kristina and i to feel more “spread thin” with our time and even possibly in our relationship with each other. but really, our unit just grew and so did our capacities. we became fuller. we get to experience more love and we didn’t lose flexibility in all the ways i thought we might.
what is the most challenging part of fatherhood for you?
when i don’t have a solution for problems i can’t understand. for example, when she was an infant and would just cry without reason. actually, she still does that sometimes. not having answers is hard with a child and just as much so with a female.
another challenge for me is remembering to take time out to just play or watch a movie with ellie when i get home. that’s often the time i snap into “work mode” and think of all the productive things i need to get done.
what do you miss about your pre-child days?
man. i don’t miss anything that i can think of. i thought there would be so many but now i can’t think of anything… having ellie around is just better.
what advice do you have for a guy that just found out his wife is pregnant?
i don’t really have much advice, i would just sit back and laugh… he has no idea, but everything will naturally all fall into place. as for his wife… it might be difficult, but he should try his best to refrain from making too many references to how big her boobs keep getting in those first few months.
what has been your proudest moment so far?
there have been so many. every “first” and accomplishment she makes. i can specifically remember ellie sitting with me one day and asking, “daddy, how do you feel?”. it’s a great feeling watching her learn to have compassion and emotional awareness of other people.
what do you most look forward to in your child’s future?
gosh. i can’t answer that… everything! i look forward to watching who she grows into as an adult and the whole process along the way. i already see so many things in her personality, i can’t wait to see how they pan out as she grows older. i also look forward to all the fun things… school, sports, her interests, siblings. ellie and i play together pretty intensely sometimes and the older she gets the more fun it is to do things with her.